Saturday, January 21, 2012

Fresh Start II

Hello, again! I took an unoffical leave of absence from this blog. In my absence, I fell off of the dieting wagon, I gained back 12 pounds, and spent a few weeks in a self-loathing abyss because of my lack of discipline.

Now that brings us to current day; post pity party. I slipped. Simple as that, sad as that. I reached a point where I let my hectic schedule and LIFE take over what I had been working so hard to eating! However, I reached the conclusion that I am human. Yes, I am human and I have been told that it is normal for me to make mistakes.

That being said, I worked really hard this week and tracked my food. And I lost 4 pounds this week. I have this renewed sense of empowerment and self-awareness that I missed over the last few weeks. I feel like I can do anything. Stay tuned as I get back on track and take off again.

I have a wedding in May in which I have to wear a beautiful, but too-revealing-for-me bridesmaid dress for my bestest buddy Mackenzie. I dont' want to be spilling out from all sides when that day comes. So, I have a lot of work ahead of me, but i am really feeling like I can do it.

With the new year comes new dieters. I have many friends that have made the time-honored resolution to lose those holiday pounds. As the new year rolled in and some of my friends started their journey I was in the midst of my backslide. While I always appreciate the advice and support, I found that some people found it necessary to share their weight-loss secrets with me when they had their own battles to get through and then those certain friends would get very frustrated with me for not jumping on their bandwagon. I love support, I love giving support, but we all have to do what is right for us. At that time, being angry with myself was what I needed to do to get the kick in the pants to get serious again.

So, if you know someone who is trying to lose the weight,  is working hard at it, but may slip from time to time, understand that it is NORMAL for that person to be angry at themselves and to FEEL lots of varying emotions. Just be a good friend to them and LISTEN, don't offer advice and don't tell them what they should be doing. Let them vocalize what they are going through. For many of us, hearing ourselves say the things that have been rattling around in our minds is enough to shake us out of it.

Losing weight is not meant to be easy or quick. And for me, the hardest part is changing the voices in my head to like me and to support me. When I make a mistake I beat myself up and then punish myself by not eating, or just throwing caution to the wind and overeating for the comfort. So, in my future blogs, I will be mentioning ways that I want to improve on myself other than just the oustide weight issues. I have so many emotional things that i need to change in order to ensure a lifetime of success. I don't just want to lose the weight, I want to keep it off. I want to get better with age and this is my journey.

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