So, today was another weigh-in. They are every Friday, of course. I fear them every week, and by Thursday my nerves are crazy. I am scared that I gained back weight or that I didn't lose anything. This is something that I am working on in many areas of my life; patience. Currently, I have little to none!
One of the mistakes I have made in my past efforts to lose weight was to weight myself every few days. That is why I decided to weigh in on Fridays. I feel resourceful using the postage scale at work...it IS designed to weigh large packages, so I figure I am safe using it. I get up and get ready in the morning for work, being mindful not to drink or eat ANYTHING knowing that as soon as I get to work I am going to step on that big scale.
I got down to the scale with my fellow Weight-Watcher's buddy, Mackenzie, and waited for her to do her own weekly update. On the outside, I believe I was being patient, but inside I was mentally resorting to my toddler years; meaning that I wanted to push her out of the way, and yell, "ME first!!!" I mean, I had to know and waiting the whole minute for her to get done was killing me! As I mentioned already - patience; working on it.
After she announced her results, I immediately had my shoes off and was already stepping on the scale. I watched fearfully and excitedly as the digital numbers climbed and then flickered before settling on the final number - 253 pounds! I announced to Mackenzie in a very shocked manner that I had lost 5 pounds since last Friday. In disbelief, I stepped down and stepped back up again. There had to be a mistake; I didn't feel 5 pounds lighter; I didn't think I looked 5 pounds lighter. Not to mention I had the extra water due to Mama Nature visiting me this week.
I watched a second time as the numbers climbed and flicked between a couple of numbers before settling on the final number - 253 pounds. I was not going to attempt a third time, so I took that and walked away in awe.
For some people, 5 pounds may not be a lot, but for those like myself who have battled their weight and their body images for many years, 5 pounds lost can feel like conquering one more mile up a steep mountainside. I have to be honest and admit that I felt pride at my accomplishment. I not only lost that 5 pounds through conscientious eating habits, but through exercise as well. I worked very hard to shed those 5 pounds! And darn it, I feel wonderful about that.
Making time for exercise is one of the hardest things I have had to learn to do. However, now that school is out, it has gotten easier. Chloe has started doing the Standing Pilates video with me at home, and she walks with me. Not to mention, that if I tell her in the morning that we are going to exercise before she gets in the tub after I get off work, she remembers and I have to be accountable for that. She has been so supportive. When I tell Steve about the weight I lost for the week, she is so excited and praises me. She told me today that she is proud of me and that meant a lot to me, even if she is only 6!
If anybody out there ever reads this and wants someone to go on the weight loss journey with, I would love company. You have to do it on your own accord and in your own time, but sometimes having someone to go through the good and bad times with you and understand where you are coming from is the difference between failing and succeeding! I have to give my thanks to everyone who has show their support and have nothing but positive feedback. Even when I make it difficult for them to praise me because I am always harder on myself. THANK YOU!!! You know who you are!
Friday, June 24, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
The Start of a New Day
04/13/2011:
I stood there looking down at those numbers in disbelief and shame with a dab of embarrassment. Not embarrassment so much for me but for my family; my husband, my kids, my siblings, my friends. How did this happen? When did this happen? I knew I was fat, not overweight, but FAT! However, I did not realize that I had more than doubled in size. The scale read 280 pounds! I stood there and cried those tears of shame that most women who battle weight shed so often. In my moment of despair and desperation, I realized I had two options: feel sorry for myself and eat the last donut on the counter with a chocolate milk chaser or change my lifestyle and thinking.
I knew I had a visit with my OB/GYN the next day so I addressed my thoughts and concerns with her. She ran some blood work and we discoverd that my sugar levels very elevated but everything else was right on. She then said the words that nobody ever wants to hear, "Terrie, you are considered morbidly obese. You now qualify for lap band surgery." At first, I was very disappointed and ashamed. Then I was excited because this would give me a great jump start to get this weight off of me.
Present Day:
I am now at 258; that is down 22 pounds since that terrible day in April. A great friend at work, Ally Billhorn (check out her blog at http://networkedblogs.com/jggrM) was coming back from maternity leave and was starting Weight Watchers, a program she had used before and had success with. Our group at work is VERY supportive so we all decided to join in on it with her.
Now, let me first tell you that I was not very excited about Weight Watchers. I mean, there was going to be a lot of time spent measuring, weighing, and calculating. Who has time for that? However, if there is one characteristic of myself that I like it is that I am always willing to try something new at least once. Anyways, what did I have to lose? And that is where my Weight Watchers journey began. In three weeks, I have lost 11 pounds. However, I have to deal with ALWAYS eating. I eat every couple of hours. Usually it is fruit, vegetables, etc.
This blog is not going to be a selling point for Weight Watchers, but a chronicle of my journey along the way to becoming the person that I want to be inside and out. I hope that you will all join me along the way. I welcome tips, pointers and definitely words of encouragement along the way. Other than watching food and portions, a strong support system is the best thing a person could ask for.
I stood there looking down at those numbers in disbelief and shame with a dab of embarrassment. Not embarrassment so much for me but for my family; my husband, my kids, my siblings, my friends. How did this happen? When did this happen? I knew I was fat, not overweight, but FAT! However, I did not realize that I had more than doubled in size. The scale read 280 pounds! I stood there and cried those tears of shame that most women who battle weight shed so often. In my moment of despair and desperation, I realized I had two options: feel sorry for myself and eat the last donut on the counter with a chocolate milk chaser or change my lifestyle and thinking.
I knew I had a visit with my OB/GYN the next day so I addressed my thoughts and concerns with her. She ran some blood work and we discoverd that my sugar levels very elevated but everything else was right on. She then said the words that nobody ever wants to hear, "Terrie, you are considered morbidly obese. You now qualify for lap band surgery." At first, I was very disappointed and ashamed. Then I was excited because this would give me a great jump start to get this weight off of me.
Present Day:
I am now at 258; that is down 22 pounds since that terrible day in April. A great friend at work, Ally Billhorn (check out her blog at http://networkedblogs.com/jggrM) was coming back from maternity leave and was starting Weight Watchers, a program she had used before and had success with. Our group at work is VERY supportive so we all decided to join in on it with her.
Now, let me first tell you that I was not very excited about Weight Watchers. I mean, there was going to be a lot of time spent measuring, weighing, and calculating. Who has time for that? However, if there is one characteristic of myself that I like it is that I am always willing to try something new at least once. Anyways, what did I have to lose? And that is where my Weight Watchers journey began. In three weeks, I have lost 11 pounds. However, I have to deal with ALWAYS eating. I eat every couple of hours. Usually it is fruit, vegetables, etc.
This blog is not going to be a selling point for Weight Watchers, but a chronicle of my journey along the way to becoming the person that I want to be inside and out. I hope that you will all join me along the way. I welcome tips, pointers and definitely words of encouragement along the way. Other than watching food and portions, a strong support system is the best thing a person could ask for.
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